Are you looking for suggestions to deal with your child’s aggression?
Raising children to be safe, well-mannered, well-adjusted happy and successful is always challenging for parents.
Children display so many behavioral patterns – anger, frustration, depression, aggression – during their early years. Though these behavioral traits in children are normal in childhood, it requires a lot of attention and care from parent’s side to prevent these from taking a toll on your child’s growth and development.
Up to 30% of kids occasionally or regularly engage in aggressive behavior.
Watching your small kid hitting, kicking, or screaming is a big nightmare for every parent. Aggression is very common in kids but you need to take some immediate steps to help your kid learn being calm in tense situations – an important lesson for his/her personal success.
Parenting help thus becomes necessary for parents to effectively deal with child aggression:
Try to Notice the Early Symptoms of Aggression in Kids
You should not ignore the early signs of aggression – biting, pulling, pushing, hitting, screaming, scratching, strangling, tearing, ripping and impulsiveness. Left unaddressed, these symptoms may lead to an uncontrollable stage where aggressiveness may become a regular habit of your child.
Let Your Child Throw His/Her Anger
Give your child a stuffed animal that he can punch, kick, or bite to overcome his aggression. Create a dedicated calm corner – stuffed with objects of his/her choice like comics, doll, teddies, or pillow — where he/she can seek solace whenever he/she loses cool. A screaming box will also be an effective medium for your child to shed anger and frustration.
Effective communications develop from strong child parent relationships. Talk to your child immediately after he/she deboards the emotional rollercoaster. Make your child understand the aftermaths of aggression by quoting examples. Watch motivational videos with your child to instill moral values like patience and compassion.
Appreciation is the great way to induce learning. You should appreciate your child everytime he/she displays good behavior especially in public.
Give Proper Care and Attention
Good parenting is the right of every child. The children who are deprived of love, attention, and care tend to become aggressive, violent and rebellious. Every child craves and deserves for love and care of his parents. Show your affection for them. Hug them, kiss them, pamper them, and make them feel cared and special. It will make them listen and follow your advices seriously.
Then, it is a wakeup call for you to look for the ways to engage your kids in development activities that evoke positive thinking and wisdom for success in them.
As we know “An idle mind is a devil’s workshop”, it is the responsibility of the parents to divert their child’s mind towards constructive thinking. Do not let them fall easy prey to negative thoughts or bad habits as these can play a spoilsport in your child’s success.
Listed below are some good parenting tips that will help you keep your children choose their ultimate goal and stay focused.
Children love rewards. It is the best way to stimulate your children for a developmental activity. You can choose from a thousand ways to keep your kid engaged in positive thinking but the basic idea remains the same – reward him when he attempts and reward him when he succeeds.
For example, if you are motivating your child towards reading habit, tempt him with a chocolate for reading a lesson of the book or learning a concept. Consider the interest and behavioral needs of the child while picking a book or lesson for him (choose something fascinating with lots of funny pictures).
Similarly, if you want your kid to choose some game or sport, you will have to reward him for even participating in practice sessions initially. Once the juvenile starts enjoying an activity, the joy of success will in itself act as a motivational factor.
However, make sure that your rewards are having a positive result on your child. If you notice signs of your child developing a habit of doing everything or making the smallest effort in the hope of rewards, stop for a while and let her understand that rewards are not easy to get. Each time you have work still harder than what you did earlier.
Visual learning has been accepted as an effective teaching technique in which ideas, concepts, or thoughts are conveyed through images.
Children have a natural inclination towards visuals. Different child counselors and teachers in their parenting advice suggest parents to utilize this behavioral aspect to induce learning in children.
For instance, if you want your kid to play football, you can show him the visual of a smiling child playing footwall in its garden. If your child watches TV all time or plays video game, you can help him get rid of this habit by showing him images of children falling sick or becoming weak after watching TV.
Visual learning can also help your children choose the right career for him. Show him pictures of different professionals like doctor, engineer, singer, painter etc and help him choose the one he finds his heart in. For instance, inspirational videos made especially for children are a great way of instilling wisdom and motivation is children through visual learning. Children are able to understand and remember lessons or stories they watch on the visual media, and inspirational videos with their soft music, appealing pictures and engaging voiceover are able to make kids gain wisdom and knowledge effortlessly.
Does your child feel reluctant to go the school? Do you see torn clothes or torn books when your child returns home from school? Chances are that your child is being bullied by his friends, neighbors or classmates.
Bullying is menace in the US. It takes place everywhere. Many a time children hesitate telling their parents about bullying, either from fear or embarrassment. But as a parent, you need to alert about whether your kid is being bullied and harassed.
Being observant is very important. A bullied kid often displays different child behavior and gives warning signals. Some useful parenting advice and tips can help you take necessary steps to protect your child from being bullied:
Identify the warning signs
Certain signs or child behavior changes can help you find out whether your child is bullied:
• When your child makes excuses to avoid going to school, make a note whether this is happening too frequently. Generally bullied kids lose interest in school and their grades fall dramatically.
• If your child comes back home with bruises and scratches or his clothes torn or books damaged; it is an indication that the child is being bullied.
• If a child takes a different route to go school to avoid some people on the way.
• If your child appears sad or isolated and is rarely invited to other kids birthday parties.
This child behavior needs utmost attention of parents and they need to rectify this problem as early as early possible.
At times, kids are not bullied physically but ignored and left alone by their classmates. This deliberate isolation too can lead to loneliness and lower the confidence of your child.
If bullying goes on for long, it may leave deep emotional scars on your child and affect his self-esteem badly. A bullied kid needs a support system and if he doesn’t get that from parents, he/she can even harm themselves.
Talk to your child
Once you have recognized the signs, you need to talk to your child. Be sympathetic and listen to your child patiently.
Parenting help: Don’t overreact or criticize your child by saying, “You must have done something that others behaved with you like that.” It will only make the child go deeper into isolation. It takes courage for your child to open up. So be a good listener and encourage your child to talk to you. It will also help strengthening your child parent relationship.
Contact the concerned authorities
If your child is being bullied at school, you need to contact the school authorities at the earliest. Your child may not like your involvement in school from fear of retaliation by bullies.
You need to assure your child that everything will be fine. You can explain the problem to your child’s teacher and jointly come up with a solution to sort out the problem. If bullying persists, you can approach the principal for appropriate action.
Parenting advice: If possible, try to keep a log of the dates when bullying occurred and share with the school authorities. Avoid talking to those who are bullying your child or their families directly. Rather get the school administrators and the teachers speak to the offender and his parents. Teachers must firmly inform the offender and his parents about the dire consequences if the bullying doesn’t stop.
If you know some older child studying in the same school, you can ask him/her to keep a watch on your child during lunch break or in playground and keep you informed about the happenings. You can also encourage your child to approach the older child if he needs help.
Encourage child to make other friends
Does your child refuse to go out and play with other kids in the neighborhood? Probably your child is being bullied by neighbor’s kids. Encourage your child to get friendly and develop a bond with other kids in the neighborhood. At times, a bully stops other kids from talking to your child, and usually other kids obey the bully because they are afraid of getting bullied themselves. In that case, you can ask your child to invite some of those friends to home over the weekend. This can help your child to create a bond with other buddies.
Support your child
Children who face bullying too often tend to feel that something is wrong with them. One of the best parenting advice to help you handle this well is to let your child know that he is perfect. Explain to him that people bully so that they can get some reaction. When you stop reacting, they won’t bother you anymore.
Wisdom for kids: Appreciate your child often and let him know that she is unique and that is what makes her special. She doesn’t have to be winner always to deserve respect. Let your child know that being bullied is not her fault. She is unique and worthy of respect and love.