Raising children is a tough job in and of itself, but when the parents are going through a divorce this important job seems to become even harder. The parents understand why they both need and want to live separate lives but it is very difficult for a child to understand.
Kids tend to blame themselves when their parents split up. They feel unstable and confused as well. Divorce is stressful for kids too. You can use this help for parents advice to ensure that you are being a parent who is truly caring for your child’s psyche throughout the divorce.
Honesty Is the Best Policy
To an extent, you should be very honest with your kids about the divorce. Of course, they do not need details ofa sordid affair or addiction problem. Honesty is important while inspiring children to learn positive values.
The easiest way to explain the impending divorce is by telling the kids that you and your spouse simply cannot live together anymore. You always must make them understand that they had nothing to do with your marital problems. They need to know that you both love them now and will always love them.
Never tell them that you no longer love your spouse. This will make the children believe that you could stop loving them as well. This is never a good thing and could spoil child parent relationships.
Change Can Be Scary
Everyone who has been raising children understands that change can be quite difficult for some children. Many kids get stressed out moving to a new classroom for a higher grade level so the change resulting from a divorce can be overwhelming.
Being a parent, you will need to make the changes as easy on your kids as possible You should consult your pediatrician and inform him of the divorce and your concerns for its effect on your kids. He will be able to offer some great help for parents’ information that will make the divorce more understandable for your kids. It is possible that he recommends you to take your children to a parenting counselor.
Prevent Possible Problems
Kids who are dealing with divorce often begin to have problems in school. Quite a few articles offering help for parents going through a divorce advice believe that the child’s teacher should be informed of the family situation. This knowledge will allow the teacher to watch for and understand any abnormal behavior and avert problems.
Your child’s guidance counselor may also be able to offer some parenting help as he has certainly dealt with many kids who have gone through stressful divorces
No Badmouthing Allowed
Just because you are raising children during this trying time does not give you the right to talk badly about their other parent. This behavior simply adds more stress for the child and makes him feel like he is being pulled apart. Remember, he loves both of you and if you badmouth your former spouse, the child will always resent you.
Still Two Parents
Even during a divorce, both of you are obligated to fulfill your duties of being a parent. The task of raising children belongs to both mother and father. The custodial parent should never disallow the other parent opportunities to maintain a close relationship with each other.
Authorities on raising children during divorce state that parents who deny their children access to the other will eventually be alienated by the kids later in life. It is healthy for the kids to grow up with two parents, even if they live separate lives.